Accountability

When your child screws up, you may choose to stand by them while they make amends, but you don't make excuses for their actions.  You help them be the best version of themselves. When ego gets involved, parents can forget that their kids are imperfect. We have to hold our kids accountable. We have to call them out. I don't care if a kid is a gifted athlete, student or musician, they better be a damn good person in all of the in between moments of their life. If they make a horrible decision, they need to own it. I am angry that Brock Allen Turner, the Stanford swimmer, never took responsibility for his actions. He refused to understand the concept of consent. He refused to acknowledge that actions have consequences, both in the legal sense and in the trauma and hurt he caused. The letter his father, Dan Turner, wrote to the judge illustrates how rape is viewed and why it continues. He wants his son to be able to move on with his swimming career. It was just "20 minutes of action."

On Thursday, Turner’s victim addressed him directly, detailing the severe impact his actions had on her. Here is her powerful letter.

Brock ran when the two Swedes on bicycles approached him. They tackled him and kept him there until the police arrived. He knew what he did was wrong.

I'm so angry that this young woman had to be victimized twice. I am so grateful to the two young men on bikes who stopped Brock. I am so grateful this young woman has wonderful people supporting her and loving her through this. I am grateful that the world gets to read Brock's Dads letter. It infuriates me, but it is giving way for much needed conversations.

It is never about what she wore, or how much she had to drink, or if she had a lot of boyfriends, it is always about consent.